In that contemplative, looking-back-on-life stage..

Been thinking a lot recently. Not about anything in particular, just life and all the little absurdities that come along with it. Why people are the way they are, what makes someone a good person, or indeed a good friend, to what extent does one 'bring it on themselves', that kind of stuff. Having only watched 'High Fidelity' the other day (great film, and book, would recommend both to anyone with an interest in music, and relationships, that kind of stuff) it could be said that im in one of those 'what does it all mean' sort of moods, but still, the thoughts are there all the same.
It is difficult to determine why life is the way that it is, why it all pans out the way it does, whether or not there is some omniscient being watching over it all. Would be good to know what people are thinking when they look at you, when they joke with you, or about you. If they're laughing with you, or at you. But then, alas, we weren't created that way. How were we destined to be though? Was it ever intended for us to become 'rulers' of the world? Were we meant to thrive and adapt and evolve? None of this is really relevant to the feelings and thoughts that I am having, but still are worth questioning.....to an extent.
Basically, i guess, it all boils down to the way that someone can have friends, and have a fairly active social life, but still feel alone. Someone can be on top of the world, then brought back down to the lower ends of life in an instant. Maybe its the way that society has indoctrinated us to feel a necessity to be liked, a necessity to have all the latest gadgets, trends, fashions, all that malarky (irony is beginning to creep in, from the guy with the iPod, fcuk jacket, Levi jeans, and Vans shoes, but still...) a necessity to be out on the weekend, 'on the pull' as it were. But what happens when that doesnt all work out? When you dont have the coolest clothes, when you dont have the girl, when you dont seem to 'fit in' with society's 'norms', what then? Are we destined to be outcast? Left alone to sit in front of your computer writing your feelings on a blog site that only your dad will read, because only he knows about, or cares about it? Seems that way. But then who am I to complain, 'you bring it on yourself'.
Ah well, c'est la vie.




Don't worry dad, i'll be fine! ;-)