Thursday 24 December 2009

I've just realised something...




In Terminator 2, when Arnie and Sarah and John Connor and Miles Dyson go to Skynet to blow it all up and stop the war and everything else that makes those films happen, Dyson has his hand in his pocket pretty much the whole time they are there. I only just realised that it was because Sarah shot him in the arm/shoulder earlier in the film. I always just thought he was really casual about demolishing offices...

Thursday 17 December 2009

Please, please read this

http://www.wherediditallgoright.com/BLOG/2009/12/ratm4xmas.html

Now, stop buying an old, boring, clichéd, altogether not very good song, stop thinking you are putting one over on Simon Cowell and his 'evil' rule of terror with X-factor, and FUCKING GET OVER IT!!

Tuesday 8 December 2009

Does anybody really care anymore??

Christmas number one.

What of it?

I've recently seen a group circulating Facebook that aims to get a load of people to try and get Rage Against the Machine to Christmas number one this year. (How they plan to do this, I have no idea, with no specific song, and I can bet nobody that joins it will actually buy a Rage single) Why? 'Err... because it will well prove that nobody cares about X-factor and it will stop that being Christmas number one.' Question though, does anybody actually pay attention to what gets the number one spot over the festive season anymore?
Yes, X-factor does seem to dominate the sales at that point in the year, but that's just down to some slightly clever marketing, and the 'coincidence' that it finishes in time for Christmas. And obviously that gets thousands and thousands of viewers, who go out and buy the single, so it inevitably gets to number one. Case in point? Oh only the last however many years it has been on.
Now obviously there are a lot of people who don't like the show, and therefore don't like that the winner manages to sell records. But making a group on Facebook to try and get a different song/artist at number one seems a bit over the top. Especially considering that I could bet most people don't actually know what is number one on any given week, unless they looked it up.
So all in all, who cares? If the winner of X-Factor gets to number one again, which they probably will, so what? Seeing as the singles market is rapidly in decline, I think it's time everyone grew up and realised that, in all honesty, they wouldn't otherwise give a fuck.

Friday 4 December 2009

All Time Top 5 Christmas Films

Yes, considering it is that time of year once again, and we are soon to be inundated with hours upon hours of crap TV, so I though, in keeping with the season, I'd give a run down of my all time top 5 Christmas films. Well, sort of...

5. Home Alone
Probably one of the classic Christmas films. One that most people would say. Snotty little kid is left at home when family buggers off on holiday and forget about him. Hello? Social Services? Although in hindsight it isn't one of John Hughes best films, it's still pretty damn good isn't it? Full of laughs for the whole family, with jokes that I get now, but wouldn't have done ten years ago. So good is this film in fact, that I still have a copy of it on video cassette that was recorded off the television back in 1994 or '95. Still works too, I think.

4. The Great Escape
I know, I know, technically it isn't a Christmas film. Nothing in the plot revolves around Christmas at all, but come on, it's on every year! It has to be a Christmas film. One of the best films about British determination and the ability to 'put one over on the Jerrys' (or something). Well, until they all get captured/shot. Indeed the only people that seem to survive are Steve McQueen and Charles Bronson. But still, it IS a Christmas film. Although despite the rumours, not seen it on telly at Christmas in a very long time...

3. Bad Santa
Probably the only film really obviously centered around Christmas. This comedy tells the story of life-long deadbeat, played by Billie-Bob Thornton, who, every year, gets a job as a Santa in a shopping centre, then on Christmas eve, robs the place blind. It gets better, he comes complete with a midget elf (who is black, to get a few more race jokes) and befriends an annoying fat kid who thinks he really is Santa. All in all though, it does provide a good few laughs, especially from Thornton, who for some reason does the piss-head waster role very well. It might not be the family fun, watch-it-with-your-nan type of film that Home Alone or The Snowman is, but it is still damn good.

2. Die Hard
I can practically hear the eyebrows being raised. It is a Christmas film though, whatever you want to say or think. Brucey goes to LA to see his family for Christmas. No denying it, it is set at Christmas time, so technically, like Great Escape, it is a Christmas film. And it is really fucking good too. Plenty of gratuitous action, swearing, and dodgy Germanic accents from Alan Rickman. Although I'm pretty certain he gives up half way through...Anyway, Die Hard is awesome.

1. Gremlins
Cute little Christmas present gets wet, then spawns little evil clones, they eat after midnight, all hell ensues. Probably one of the more imaginative concepts for a film, but still, its genius isn't it? From cute little Gizmo, who in all honesty is a bit of a little bitch until the end, to the badass Stripe, who is surely much easier to get rid of than the protagonists make out, the film is great. You really feel yourself get behind that whiney bank teller and his girlfriend. Not only is the film slightly more violent and gory than you would expect from the outset, it is hilarious too. The evil Mogwai are brilliant. The bar scene in particular shines. And come on, you try and tell me you didn't want your own little Mogwai for Christmas after seeing it? It is one of the few films that I look for in the TV guide every year, and that is why, in my view at least, it is the best Christmas movie.

Oh, and Hulk Hogan's cameo appearance in the sequel is bloody brilliant.

Saturday 21 November 2009

What is it about Muse?

I've been thinking recently, a hell of a lot of people like Muse. A lot. Like they're the best thing in the world right now (as shown by them winning a Q award for 'Best Band in the World Right Now'). But it has dawned on me recently, I just don't get it.
I've got Origin of Symmetry. It's alright. There are a few good songs on it. Absolution has a few good songs on it. Black Holes and Revelations has a few good songs on it. However, despite this, I wouldn't class any of them as being brilliant albums. I couldn't put any of them on from start to finish and thoroughly enjoy it. Maybe it's his voice? That operatic wail that he does. Slightly irritating. I honestly don't know what it is. I'm not sure what I don't like about them, but then I'm not entirely sure why people like them to the extent that they do.
I don't know really. I know sometimes there is a connection that you feel. Things just click and it feels right. But not for me.

And their new album sounds like it was taken from fucking Doctor Who.

Tuesday 17 November 2009

What's in a word??

One word. That's all it takes. One little word and your whole life gets turned upside down. Odd really, how one small word can have such an effect on somebody's life. I mean, everything that you come to associate with that word is bad, so when somebody throws that word at you, obviously it's tough to take. Or is it? Oddly enough, I appear to have bounced right back. Obviously there was the initial panic. The trembling fear. Etc, etc. But after that, then what? Do I sit around and feel sorry for myself? Do i abandon all hope and pack it all in? Uni, friends, relationships, the works? Hell no. My diagnosis is a double dose of positive mental attitude. As a happy mind, is a healthy mind. Or some such bollocks. And anyway, turns out that despite the use of that one word, it sounds fairly straight forward and easy to get rid of. Happy days.
Now to just get over that "Oh.....fuuuuuuck......I'm so sorry....." awkwardness and I'll be set!

Thursday 12 November 2009

maybe.com

Go on this website, it is lovely. It is actually a list of various different uses of the words 'maybe' and 'may be'. I never would have thought a website like this would exist, but knowing that it does is somehow quite nice, in a weird sort of way. Check it out

http://maybe.com

True story

Just remembered something.

The other week, when I was at the Grammatics gig, which I have talked about before, I saw a girl with potentially one of the more ridiculously embarrassing tattoos that I have ever seen.
It was script going up her forearm (which looks pretty fucking stupid anyway) and it said 'Dance like nobodies watching', (also a pretty fucking stupid saying). However, the main reason that this tattoo was so embarrassingly stupid was the spelling. Dance like 'nobodies' watching?? I mean come on, that's just wrong. Spelling it as 'nobodies' would suggest that instead of nobody watching, it would be a group of nobodies that are watching, meaning that the entire basis of what she wanted to say on her arm was completely wrong.

Yes, this may seem like I am being really pedantic, but seriously, having correct grammar on something that has been written into your skin should surely be something you would check before hand.

What a prick.

Tuesday 10 November 2009

My Media

I had an assignment today. It was fun. I basically had to talk about myself, which as we all know, is the one thing that everybody in the human race loves to do. So here it is.

Newspapers: The few times I ever buy a newspaper, it is invariably The Guardian. Either on a Monday for the Media and Sports (rounding up the weekends football, but only if Everton win) and a Friday for the film and music section. All is very loosely leafed through then discarded with not much thought.

Magazines: Having been a subscriber to several different magazines previously, I am disappointed in myself to not be reading more. When I can I get Clash magazine, and the odd Q and Total Film if the content looks interesting enough, but sure enough, like the papers, I never find much time to actually sit down and read them.

Books: I never like starting a new book until I’ve finished what I am currently reading, but still end up buying books all the time, so much so now that I have far more books than I’ll ever have time to read. When such a thing does happen, I tend to go for the more…out there books, with ‘American Psycho’, ‘Trainspotting’ and ‘Crash’ being favourites. And of course I read far too many comics, instead of the more ‘academic’ things I should be reading. Although Tony Wilson’s ’24 Hour Party People’ is pretty interesting, if you believe everything that tosser says. Oh and also, I fucking hate Harry Potter.

Radio: I only ever really listen to the radio when I wake up, because that’s what my alarm is. Something about waking up to the soothing sounds of Classic FM makes the task seem a lot less arduous, or maybe I just put up with it to avoid getting out of bed. Other than that, the radio show that I am a presenter for is the only thing that I really tend to bother listening to.

Music: The logical place to begin is at the start I guess, so Oasis. From an early age that was it. A mix tape of Oasis one side, Blur the other. But since then my tastes have expanded to such a degree that I’ll claim to ‘listen to most things’, before staunchly criticising whatever is put on. But then again, some things I do like. I am a big fan of most guitar based music, from the 70s punk, through the post-punk 80s (with a very light sprinkling of some metal and new romanticism), the Brit-pop 90s, even the baggy trousered, excessive swearing, drop-D tuned ‘nu-metal’ (for a brief period) right through to the modern ‘Indie’ (whatever that is) music of today. But don’t be put off, I’ll listen to most things.

TV: I hardly ever watch TV, unless it is to see Jeff Stelling tell me how badly Everton are losing. But there are a few shows I feel warrant buying the box sets for. The likes of Big Bang Theory, Flight of the Conchords, and going back a bit to Teachers, always amused me. But then I also like many of the different comedy shows that are out there, from both sides of the Atlantic. I don’t like any of that ‘reality tv’ shite though.

Film: To say that I am a DVD whore would be an understatement. I tend to buy DVDs at such a rate that I could probably keep HMV in business myself, well, until I ran out of money. I love films. Not as much as music, but still a hell of a lot. I don’t know if I really have a type that I prefer, apart from a severe dislike towards ‘chick-flicks’ and shit like ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Twilight’. I am a massive sucker for anything even remotely comic-book related. Even if the film is utter toss, if the credits say ‘Based on the graphic novel by…’, I’ll probably like it. Also developed a bit of a soft spot for the ‘Indie-comedy-romance’ type film too. The likes of ‘(500) Days of Summer’, ‘Juno’ and ‘Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist’ particularly appeal. But maybe that’s because of the kick ass soundtracks.

Websites: Err…I’m not really one of those ‘surf the web’ type people. I go online to check my emails, indulge in my delusions of grandeur on Facebook (I mean who really gives a shit about anything you say on there?), and occasionally see what is cheap on Amazon or Play. I read a blog my dad writes, because he’s my dad, and is actually pretty interesting, and download music from various different places but that’s really it. By the way, one word that will destroy your life if you let it: Farmville.

Adverts: That Cadbury’s advert with the Gorilla was shit. That ‘Compare the Meerkat’ advert is shit. Those ‘Shelia’s Wheels’ adverts were shit. Hang on a minute, all adverts are shit. But everybody still watches them don’t they? And then insist on telling everybody how shit they actually are. Probably not what they had in mind when they were made, but at least everyone is talking about their product. Ironic really, isn’t it?

Thursday 8 October 2009

I'm not nineteen forever...

Today is the day. The day that I am no longer just a statistic of the Daily Mail. The day I become an adult (well, in my opinion). The day that I am no longer a teenager. The day I turn the grand old age of 20.
Is there anything special about this age? I never really thought so. There was being 18, then 21, then 30, 40, 50 etc. It seemed like it was just another year, nothing spectacular or different about it at all. But not that I've reached this age it feels different. Maybe because the 'teen' tag has been removed. Should this mean I should be more grown up? Be more of an adult? Do adult things like read the paper and take an interest in politics and cricket? I hope not.
I do feel some sort of maturity creeping up on me. I no longer feel like the carefree teenager I was all but yesterday. But maybe that's normal? I know that Dave was freaking out about being twenty last year, and on this day he turns 21 (strange coincidence there, girlfriend's housemate having the same birthday as me...). This time last year I thought he was over reacting, but now I'm in the same position I can understand. Something about it seems odd. I feel like I am growing up. Mind you, I've felt like I'm growing up since starting university.
Oh well. Never mind. Happy birthday to me. I wonder when I start getting too old to care about birthdays....

Monday 5 October 2009

Little Man Tate @ o2 Academy, Sheffield, 02/10/09

Last time I went to a gig I told you about how good the support band were. I wont be doing that this time.

We arrived in Sheffield full of anticipation for one of the final shows of the truly magnificent Little Man Tate, and the sheer drabness of the support band Artery only enhanced out need for the brilliant headliners. In a room full of people waiting to see the finest piece of Sheffield indie since Arctic Monkeys, the boring sound of what can be described as a bad Magazine tribute band, fronted by your dad, was completely out of place. Almost to the point of embarrassment. Luckily, they didn’t play for very long.

However, once Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine’s ‘Sherriff Fatman’ hit the P.A, the night was a non-stop, balls to the wall showcase. All the way from opener ‘Man I Hate Your Band’, through to the rousing closer ‘House Party at Boothy’s’, Little Man Tate were on fire. Clearly up there to enjoy themselves for one last time, I never noticed a moment when there wasn’t a smile on any of their faces. Thus making this swan song of theirs all the more heart-wrenching.

What’s more, the pure quality of each and every song only begs the question of how this band is not more popular. From the big singles, to the b-sides and supposed ‘filler’ album tracks, Little Man Tate continue to impress on all fronts. Each song giving the adoring audience plenty to cheer about, as they sang with every breath in their lungs.

The appreciation of the fans was also something of a rarity in music these days. Where at most gigs, the audience are receptive to the hit singles, and maybe more…quietly appreciative of the less well-known songs, that was not the case here. While the crowd clearly loved the likes of ‘This Must Be Love’ and early single ‘What? What You Got’, the level of response for the more obscure tracks of ‘Self Appreciation Club’ and ‘Back of the Pub Quiz’ was extremely enjoyable.

While Little Man Tate certainly put on a fantastic show last night, it was not without a sense of sadness that such a brilliant, well loved, band are not carrying on. Especially considering some of the ridiculous excuses for musicians that are gracing out ‘charts’. The fact that such a genuine, nice bunch of lads feel they have ‘achieved all they set out to’, so are calling it a day is heart breaking. Especially considering the passion of the large fan base this band has. This was clearly shown as when they left the stage, chants of ‘Don’t break up’ echoed around the streets of Sheffield. We can only hope that Little Man Tate heard.

Thursday 1 October 2009

Because it's just lovely

'I'm just a kid with a song in my head,
With your face in my heart,
What could be better than this?'

Wednesday 30 September 2009

Schoolboy error

Did I ever tell you about the time my dad missed seeing Joy Division? Back in 1980 I believe, they were supporting Buzzcocks and he decided he would rather go the pub than see the support. Dear oh dear. Chance missed? I think so.
I would be sympathetic, say that they probably wouldn't have been all that good anyway. Better off down the pub than watching some average band, but come on, it's Joy Division. I try not to remind him of it, stir up some kind of regret. Well, sometimes.

Interesting story I thought.

Sorry Dad...:-P

Tuesday 29 September 2009

Grammatics @ Bar 1:22 24th Sept 09

Before last night, I had never been to a gig where the support band was better than the headliners. I’ve come close a few times, with Frightened Rabbit springing to mind. Too bad the headliners were Death Cab. Last night, I thought that it had happened. At Bar 1:22, I was witness to two of the better support bands that I have seen. Admittedly I haven’t seen many really bad supports, with exception to YouMeAtSix and Amy Winehouse supporting Angels and Airwaves and Arctic Monkeys respectively, but two of last night’s ranked with the best of them.
Opening band The Bluelights, were not one of these bands. A local three-piece that reminded me of a kind of lesser, Yorkshire version of The Rifles. Giving us some fairly dull indie rock, and ending the set somewhat abruptly. With no clear sense of a proper finish, they said their final thanks, sounded like they would be doing one more song, but then just packed away. An uninspired end to a disappointingly uninspired set.
What followed was an individual by the name of Charlie Barnes, or should that be Chalie? Should you believe what promo posters tell you. Before he came on I was told that he is the human equivalent of Radiohead’s ‘Kid A’. Ok, I thought, some poncey indie boy playing a synth? Well, this was sort of true, but it was some poncey indie boy playing synth, and beat-boxing, and looping it, and adding some excellent vocal ranges to create something that is so much more than the human equivalent of ‘Kid A’. If I had any apprehensions about the ‘entertainment’ factor in watching someone sit at a keyboard and twiddle knobs for half an hour before last night, the excitement this guy provided soon eradicated these thoughts. The only worry is that his stunning live show won’t replicate on his E.P.
The night’s third band was probably the biggest surprise. A four-piece by the name of Trace, with a singer who looked at first, a little more than apprehensive, not to mention no older than 15. Once they began though, what came from the PA was a joy to the ears. A loud, technically sound, melodic slice of what I thought sounded like ‘pop-punk, but with piano’. With catchy melodies and epic breakdowns, this band is very good. Be sure to catch them next time they’re doing the local gig circuit.
So on to Grammatics then. In all honesty, before the night I wasn’t really expecting much, and after the excellence of Charlie Barnes, and Trace, I was expecting even less. I have been witness to Grammatics before, catching them at the early midday slot on Friday at Latitude last year, and I thought they were…ok. Nothing to get too excited about. However, in a small, intimate venue like Bar 1:22, they were in their element. Their blend of cello infused indie-rock-pop (if that’s a genre that exists?) completely changed my mind. A storming live set from the Leeds four-piece left me reeling, and they are definitely worth looking into further.
So, I said earlier on that before last night I had never been to a gig where the support band was better than the headliner. I still haven’t. It was a close call, but the quality of Grammatics even outweighed the brilliance of Trace. A fantastic night then, and for only a fiver, what could be better?

Sunday 30 August 2009

Oasis Stop the Clocks

Yesterday morning I was inundated with a number of texts from friends and fathers asking about the truth behind reports of an Oasis split. ‘No chance’ I thought, ‘They split up at least once a year don’t they?’ ‘Just a falling out, can’t be serious’. But sure enough, after reading a story on the BBC website, and seeing a subsequent report on the news it is official, Noel Gallagher has quit Oasis.

If you asked me now what my feelings were upon finding out, I’m not sure I could tell you. With Oasis being my all time favourite band, Be Here Now being the first CD I ever bought, you would think it would have been crushing. I would have been distraught, shed a tear maybe? Oh no. I instead just sat there, trying in my head to work out a way that this could simply not be true. How could they split up? It’s Oasis. Yeah they weren’t exactly without controversy, the infamous Gallagher brothers being in and out of the limelight virtually from the beginning, bickering and rowing just like any brothers. It seems now to have gone that one argument too far though. Noel himself saying that he ‘couldn’t go on working with Liam a day longer.’

At this point, in all the news stories and articles at least, there lies a running history of the band, all the number ones, the albums, the awards, the bust-ups, everything. Re-told to you as a sort of eulogy towards the band. I’m not going to do that. Oasis are (were?) a big enough band that the story does not need retelling. We don’t need to hear everything we already know again. Instead I can only speak from my personal experience of the band, and that is as follows:

I’m not ashamed to say that Oasis are the best band I have ever had the pleasure of listening to. Not even one of. The. It’s safe for me to say that the reason I got into music at all, picked up the guitar, bought CDs, ended up doing a degree in Music Journalism, is pretty much down to Oasis, well, and my dad, for getting me into them in the first place. People talk of them having an up and down career, that the quality dwindled after ‘(What’s the Story)’. I don’t believe that. As Liam himself said on documentary ‘Lord Don’t Slow Me Down’, ‘I don’t think we got worse, I think people just got bored of us.’ If this is true, I was most definitely not one of these people.

I only ever got the pleasure of seeing the band once, last year in Liverpool, on my birthday no less. It was once of the best shows I’ve been to, and I only wish that I could have seen them more than once. Hope still remains though, in the potential for Noel to do a solo album/tour, and for a reunion, maybe not for a few years, but hope shall prevail no less.

So for now, farewell, to the best band to ever grace my CD player. You made me feel that tonight, and every night, I’m a rock n’ roll star. See you soon.

Wednesday 26 August 2009

Bah Humbug!

Following Alex Turner’s ambitious side-project, the Last Shadow Puppets, with friend Miles Kane, there were rumours that Arctic Monkeys were to be no more. After an extended spell on the sidelines, it could have appeared that way, that was, until that difficult third album, Humbug, was released on Monday. Many wondered if the Sheffield four-piece could reignite the fires that drove the Arctic’s engine through their first two albums and drive them to success again. The answer (dramatic pause) is yes.

Right from the pounding opening riff of ‘My Propeller’, Humbug shows that the Monkeys are back and they mean business. With a sound that has developed further following ‘Favourite Worst Nightmare’, Turner and company sound darker, louder, bigger and angrier. Classically showcased by lead single ‘Crying Lightning’, as well as ‘My Propeller’ and ‘Potion Approaching’.

The lyrical prowess of Turner has not waned in the slightest either. With each song filled with line after line of excellence. The growth of Turner himself, as well as the band, is shown here. No more are we dealing with girls who look good on the dance floor, or mardy bums, but instead fools on parade (‘Secret Door’) and lookalikes in The Battleship (‘Cornerstone’). Okay, you can say that it has shifted from the everyday observations of queuing for taxis and prostitutes on street corners, but where ‘Whatever People Say…’ won over audiences across the country, ‘Humbug’ not only challenges them, but aims to spread the net wider than the ‘indie boy going out getting lashed’ audience, and it does so with aplomb.

What is considerably noticeable throughout Humbug is how the influence Turner’s work with the Last Shadow Puppets has affected his singing. It seems perhaps since the Monkeys’ cover of ‘Diamonds are Forever’ at Glastonbury 2007, our Alex seems to think of himself as a bit of a crooner. As shown throughout the Shadow Puppets’ ‘Age of the Understatement’. 

This continues through the devilishly dark rumblings of ‘Crying Lighting’, ‘My Propeller’, and ‘Fire and the Thud’, Turner’s voice remains light and graceful. Soaring above the murky rhythms below. Along with the much lighter ‘Cornerstone’ and ‘Secret Door’. However, to say the front man has gone soft is far from reality. Turner does show his aggression can match the anger of the music, particularly throughout ‘Dangerous Animal’ and the brilliant ‘Pretty Visitors’ (‘What came first, the chicken or the dickhead?’ may well be one of my favourite lyrics ever).

Love them or hate them, you can’t knock Arctic Monkeys for ingenuity. A constant progression and development in both lyricism and music has the perilous potential to alienate many fans, but also win over countless new ones. Humbug must surely cry for the latter. A fantastic album from start to finish, with a new sound that possibly trumps both previous releases by the band. With a headline slot at Reading and Leeds this weekend, be warned, Arctic Monkeys are back, with a bang.

Monday 17 August 2009

Football Bloody Football

Yes, it has reached that time of year again, when the football league begins (what, already?? I hear the women cry!) and thousands upon thousands of men up and down the country, cheer, cry, drink in celebration, pull their hair out, and every other over-the-top response that can be had over what is in essence, just a game. (*gasp* oh no he didn't!)

Well, I say the football league begins, in all honesty it never really ended. The gossip and activity of the transfer becoming more and more newsworthy, perhaps more so than the league itself. Primarily this year due to the activity over in Middle-Eastlands with the Manchester Arab Emirates taking it upon themselves to throw ridiculous amounts of money at any club with a slightly half decent player as they try and win everything in the world. Something which I'm sure the rest of the footballing community will take much pleasure in seeing them fail. All the while everyone else is struggling to catch up by spending slightly less ridiculous, but still extravagant, sums of money on distinctly average players, I mean honestly, how much for Darren Bent?? 

Everyone, that is, apart from Everton, who as usual are refusing to buy anybody despite having the smallest squad in human history. Moyes himself even saying that he is happy with '13 or 14' of his players, but needs to add 6 or 7 new faces. Has he yet? Has he fuck. Maybe he's been too busy telling Dubai City that they can't have Lescott, no matter how much money they say they'll throw at us (Credit crunch? What credit crunch?). Fair enough I thought. Good on you I thought. Stick to your guns I thought. That was, until Saturday.

Basically, what the fuck?

First game of the season, at home to Arsenal. A team who gave in to the moneybags of City and sold two of their best players, with no real sign of replacements. A fairly alright game then? Easy draw? Maybe a win? Seeing as we were unlucky not to beat them in the corresponding game last season. Oh how wrong I was.

Half time: Everton 0 - Arsenal 3. Oh joy.

Final score: Everton 1 - Arsenal 6. Wait.....what??

In what can only be described as the most abysmal result to a curtain raiser that I can remember, we get well and truly trounced. Absolutely terrible performance. Awful defending by Sunday League standards. What went wrong? It's been put forward that the whole saga with Lescott wanting to leave has dampened spirits, damaged confidence, etc, etc. But no amount of excuses can make up for such a shit performance. If things don't improve very quickly we may end up becoming what Newcastle were last year. God help us.

The only way I think this situation can be resolved, unfortunately, would be to cash in on Joe. He clearly wants to leave, as shown from the worst performance he's had in an Everton shirt. And if we don't get rid of him I fear we will only be given more of the same. So perhaps we'd be better off without him. I mean, look what happened with Wayne. Cashed in on him then finished 4th. Incidentally after being trounced by Arsenal at home in the opening game of the season. At least if we do decide to give in to the rich kids we'll have some money for Moyes to not spend as he tries to bring in more high quality players. A task which is now much more difficult, following the nightmare performance his team gave on Saturday.

Don't get me wrong, I think Moyes is a fantastic manager. What he has achieved with worse than limited resources is fantastic. Could anybody else do what he has done with as little? Probably not. We just need to sort out the mess, and quickly. Sell Lescott, so that he will be a happy bunny getting paid £90 thousand a week to play once a month, and we can move on, bring in some talent and try and get this season back on track. Please.

The only problem we are left with is what will happen in the future. If what is happening at City is only the beginning, what will happen to those teams who, like Everton, have no money. If transfers are going to continuously rise to extortionate levels, how can those who have no funds compete? What's more, if teams like City continue to throw money at anyone who has a good season, all those poor teams who try to build and develop a squad of top quality players on the cheap will be fucked. One can only wonder what would have happened had Jagielka, arguably our best player last year, not got injured? Or Arteta, or Yakubu? It seems if we want to realistically compete with the big boys, we need investment. Fast.

The future's bleak, the future's money.

Friday 14 August 2009

Amy Wankhouse

A friend of mine once said to me that Amy Winehouse is ‘only good because she’s not black’. Before anybody gets the wrong idea, my friend is not racist, despite the aforementioned comment. Clearing up any controversy, what I believe she meant was that Amy Winehouse plays a style of music that is pretty much dominated by black artists. In a similar way to the ‘white man who played black music’, Mr Elvis Presley. However, Elvis was the King, Miss Winehouse most certainly is not the Queen.

I never fully understood the attraction to Amy Winehouse. I always felt that she was nothing more than a junkie of both the press and the smack, with less talent than I have in my left testicle. Harsh, I hear some of you utter, but perhaps true? Think about it. Still need me to back up my statement? Fine.

Point one: She can’t sing. No really, she can’t sing. All that seems to be coming from her vocal chords sounds like a warbling cat, with throat cancer, being swung from a ceiling fan. You seen the video on YouTube? That.

Point two: Content. If you can get past the god-awful singing, and actually decipher the lyrics, its drivel. Daddy said she should go to rehab (being the coked up whore she is, but more on that later) and what does she do, say no…no, no. Why? There’s teen rebellion, and then there’s just flat out ignorance. If she listened to Daddy then maybe she wouldn’t be so atrocious. ‘You Know That I’m No Good’? Yes, we do. So stop damaging my eardrums with that racket. And Valerie probably doesn’t want to come over because she heard you wailing from a mile off and fled in the other direction (Oops, I forgot that song was by Mark Ronson...). 

Point three: As I have previously stated, she is nothing but a coked up whore. Spending more time in the tabloids for whatever scandal she has supposedly been up to rather than trying to better her career, or even trying to better her reputation. The fact that she regularly fails to turn up to concerts, and when she does, gives very half-arsed performances, shows more than a little lack of respect for her label, her PR people, and most importantly, her fans (deluded though they are for liking her ‘music’ in the first place). Yes I know Lou Reed and the Beatles and Pink Floyd and even Oasis have dabbled in drugs during their career, but, with the possible exception of the latter, it spawned some of their best music. But with Miss Winehouse giving us nothing that can even be classed as good, she should listen to The Verve, because the drugs don’t work.

Point four: See points one, two and three. Need I go on?

The other day I heard a rumour that she died. Drug overdose. Part of me wished it were true. Before realising the talentless woman would become martyred and special editioned forever. We just cant win can we?

Saturday 1 August 2009

You be Madrid and I will be......Pele??

One might wonder why I, at only 19 years of age, was in Liverpool last Saturday to attend a reunion gig of a band that formed 20 years ago, and split 16 years ago, when I was at the tender age of 3. Maybe if it was one of those big name bands that sold millions of records, had several number ones (that’s British number ones!) and generally were well known enough to warrant a big reunion. This was not the case. The band I went to see, Pele. Ever heard of them? Didn’t think so. In all honesty neither had I, that was, until I was made aware of the fantastic Amsterdam, and learned that Pele was lead singer Ian Prowse’s former band.

Excitement was therefore brewing as me and my father, someone else who, up until Amsterdam, was only ‘vaguely aware’ of the band, turned up at the venue far too early to be let in. Not to worry though, as it led to a chance to meet Prowse again, (after previously interviewing him back in early 2007, and meeting after a fantastic Amsterdam set at Glastonbury in 2008) who was looking for a Chilean who was getting an interview (big in Chile back in the day too?). Once let in, we were one of only a handful of people who got there early enough to ‘soak up the atmosphere’ and to witness the first support act, The Verdict, and a very good band they were too. Very tight and punchy, with some quality rock tunes to boot. The next act, The Bo Weevils also proved to be a nice surprise. A quality four piece with some excellent guitar work, foot-stomping rhythms and what’s more, they were fucking loud. Both of which are well worth looking into further.

And so it came to the main event, Pele. With it being more than evident that I was probably one of the youngest people there, I didn’t really know what to expect. While Prowse’s Amsterdam have a brilliant live show, I had a feeling that the slightly lesser sound of Pele might result in a slightly lesser live show. How wrong I was! Right from opener ‘Don’t Worship Me’, to the fantastic ‘Oh Lord’, Pele rolled back the years and produced a top quality show, playing all the hit songs and more. With the likes of ‘Megalomania’ (number one in South Africa, don’t you know!) ‘Fair Blows the Wind for France’, ‘Name and Number’ and the ever outstanding ‘Raid the Palace’, fans both old and new (or should that be young?) enjoyed sing-a-long after sing-a-long. Even for me, who in all honesty had not heard much Pele other than re-done live versions by Amsterdam thoroughly enjoyed the likes of ‘A King’s Ransom’, ‘Fat Black Heart’, ‘In The Beginning and ‘Fireworks’, but the list goes on almost as long as the set list itself.

Despite not really knowing what to expect beforehand, seeing Prowse without his usual crew and with a menagerie of different songs, I did wonder if it would be like seeing Amsterdam with the volume turned down. Luckily I was swiftly proved wrong, Prowse and company producing a show well worth the reunion, and one can only hope another is on the cards sooner rather than later.

Saturday 18 July 2009

The Dead Weather - Horehound

You would have thought that Jack White would have a lot on his plate at the moment. With the White Stripes, The Raconteurs, and several other individual projects, including a duet with Alicia Keyes for the recent Bond film, Quantum of Solace, you’d think he wouldn’t have time for anything else. Surely?

Well you’d be wrong, White returns to us now with The Dead Weather. A ‘supergroup’ of sorts featuring members of The Kills, Queens of the Stone Age, The Raconteurs, and White himself. However, what may surprise many is that White gives up his guitar and singing, for the most part, and takes a back seat, literally, on the drums. I can hear the alarm bells ringing from here.

Not to worry though, what we are given by The Dead Weather’s debut album ‘Horehound’ is something that differs from both White’s previous bands. Taking the bluesy sound of the Stripes, and the raw rock sound from the Raconteurs, White creates something new, but with a feel to it that can attract fans of his earlier work.

White’s decision to revert to the drums may lead to suspicion from some, but the man does very well. A damn sight better than his ex wife/sister Meg. A feat that is probably just as easily done as it is said. But to leave it at that would be grossly unfair on the rest of the band. While White is a very competent drummer, he is backing up what is a very tight, very good band. With ‘Little Jack’ Lawrence of The Raconteurs on bass, and QUOTSA’s Dean Fertita on guitar, piano and synth doing a job that is by no means worse than what White could do himself.

However, where the band get’s one of its main strengths is from the vocals of the beautiful Alison Mosshart, formerly of The Kills. From the husky drawl of ’60 Feet Tall’ and ‘So Far From Your Weapon’ to the Blondie-esque wail of ‘Treat Me Like Your Mother’ and the brilliant cover of Dylan’s ‘New Pony’. She also acts as a perfect compliment to White on the duets of ‘Rocking Horse’ and ‘Will There Be Enough Water?’

It could be very easy for one to look at this band as just another indulgence of Jack White, only made so that he could satisfy a creative branch that he could not reach with his many other projects. It could be easy to only buy this record to complete a ‘Jack White Collection’ and not really listen to it. But The Dead Weather are really so much more than that. They are a great band, and one of equal brilliance to both The White Stripes and The Raconteurs. With such a brilliant live show on top of a great debut album, long may The Dead Weather continue.

Friday 3 April 2009

Well thats it then

It is with a sense of slight confusion, disappointment, relief and an odd bit of excitement that I've seemingly come to the end of my first academic year of university, and it's only just April! I shall be getting the train back home tomorrow (single from Manchester Piccadilly to Bristol Temple Meads for 11 quid! Thats what planning in advance and a railcard does for you!) for three weeks to enjoy what I hope is as delightful weather in Wells as it is here in Huddersfield. Should be good, especially the last week when Emma is going to come stay and see the sights of the south (not one for sibilance am I?!). But why do I still feel strangely disappointed?

Apart from an exam on the 13th of May I will have nothing to do until September apart from move out of halls and into my house. I should be happy about this, shouldn't I? Gives me a chance to get a job and earn some much needed money, gives me a chance to spend time writing more, in terms of articles for here, and songs (www.myspace.com/mynamesmattmusic seeing as you ask). Part of me worries though, that with the current state of economy, I wont be able to find a job (not least because Jack is now here scoping out more jobs to go with the one he found after being here a few days!) which means I'll be sat around either here in Storthes, a place I am quickly getting very sick of, not least because of all the stereotypical, we're-gunna-stay-up-till-half-6-in-the-morning-shouting-our-arses-off students, but because of the Internet, which is gracefully working now for a change, the large distance it is from....oh just about anywhere and the fact that it is, in all honesty, a bit grotty, with nothing to do at all. Earning no money, and spending the lack of money I actually do have far too quickly. Either that or I'll manage to stick it through until July before moving in to my house. A prospect I am actually very much looking forward to, in that growing up, being independent kind of way, and the fact that the house is fucking beautiful. Once there though, what then? If I don't find a job beforehand am I going to be able to find one once I am in a much more convenient location? I can hope so.

 Upon the realisation I'm sounding a bit like the harbinger of doom, I am actually very pleased I managed to make it through the first year of this place. They say that uni is a big step up from school, and it is. The workload, although not particularly huge, has been tricky, and with all but one essay, which I only scraped a pass, I am pleased to have passed all my assignments. Not only has the past 7 months been good in terms of developing my abilities as a potential journalist, as I now feel I can write and produce a higher standard of article, university has been a fantastic growing up experience for me. I feel much better as a person. I've matured, but still managed to maintain a large element of immaturity too, never mind! I also believe, as others have commented, that I have lost a bit of weight, something that was a main intention as I came here. There was a few weeks where relying on cooking a pizza because I was too lazy to do anything else, but that was followed by an extended period of one meal a day living because either the laziness got too much to even go to the shop, or because I couldn't afford it! Either way, I don't feel quite as much the fat bastard I was when I first arrived.

 All in all I feel that, as one era draws to a relative close (I mean, I still have 14 weeks before I get kicked out of this place!) it has been a success. Not only have I survived in a place where so many have fallen, (my course has halved in population since freshers!) but I've gained so much more in terms of new friends, of which I feel closer too than people I've known for the past 2 or 3 years (apart from the obvious ;-) ) along with a new found respect for money, and a grown up sense of independence that living in a small country town at the arse end of nowhere can provide. Not only that, but to make things even better, one person stands out amongst all the positives of this place, and I can only thank her for it. She knows who she is :-)

 Anyway, until my next post, which may be sooner than you think, given that I now have nothing to do, take care. And if you find yourself a bit bored, you could always read the musings of my dad on his own blog (paulwaring.blogspot.com) and see what he's been doing the past few weeks! (not that you need it, but theres some publicity for you dad!)

Monday 16 March 2009

Oh dear...

So it is then, we go from one monumentally awesome reunion to one monumentally disastrous one. Shortly following the brilliant news that Blink 182, one of the greats, topped only by the monolith that is Oasis, have reformed, I am to discover that none other than The Libertines are reforming too.

Deary deary me. 

I wait for weeks on end of NME pages devoted entirely to it.

As the Comedian so adequately put it, 'God help us all'.

Skiing Adventures



Every year, the European Ski Challenge takes place in the 3 Vallees Ski Resort in the French Alps. Here in the snowy paradase, many skiiers and snowboarders flock to compete.


Below is a video showing the highlights of this years competition.